The Best Advice I Ever Got
A chance encounter with a total stranger can change your life forever.
I owned a consulting company and had acquired a large, and well respected manufacturing company located in Southern California. The work I was doing for them required me to spend several days a month at their office.
I usually stayed at a 4 star hotel with its own golf course that was located within a few miles of their facility. During one stay the Ladies LPGA tournament was being held. One night after work, I was sitting at the bar having a drink while I waited for a table in the dining room.
I noticed a well dressed man in his 70's walk into the bar with a beautiful woman somewhere in her 30's. She had blond hair, was wearing a fur coat, a lot of jewelry, a very stylish dress, and perfect makeup. She was a knock out. This was a very classy couple, and she seemed very personable. Except for the age difference they looked, acted, and seemed to be made for each other. Nothing phony.
A band started to play, and the music was very good.
Within a few minutes the gentlemen with the lady approached me. "Will you dance with my girlfriend", he asked?
"Are you kidding me?", I thought. "I would be honored", was my reply.
This woman had class, was articulate, smart, funny, and a very good dancer. We danced several dances until the Mater D advised that my table in the dining room was ready. I excused myself and proceeded to dinner.
I had a great dinner, another drink, or two, and asked for the check. The waiter informed that it was taken care of. How odd I thought. That was an awfully big thank you for a few dances. I walked back into the bar to thank the man for dinner, but they were gone.
The next night I went back to the hotel and proceeded to have a drink at the bar, again waiting for a table to open up in the dinning room. The gentlemen returned, without his girlfriend this time, and sat beside me. He started to talk.
First he introduced himself, I don't remember his name. We exchanged some small talk then he asked, "Do you own your own business?"
"Yes", I replied. "Why do you ask?"
"You remind me of me a very long time ago", he replied.
"How long ago was that", I asked?
"More than you are old", he said.
"What do you do", he queried?
"I'm a logistics consultant, and freight bill auditor. I also help companies clean up their buying procedures, and improve their sourcing opportunities." I responded.
The gentlemen proceeded to tell me how the land on which this golf course, and hotel are constructed belongs to him. He was leasing the property to the hotel, but still owned it. He said that it used to be his land fill, and that city, and county changed the zoning, then stopped him from disposing of any more garbage on the site.
"The woman you danced with last night is my girlfriend. I've been widowed three times, and have a pacemaker in my chest. I just can't do much of anything any more" he went on. "I've been with her for several years. and she has taken very good care of me.", he said.
What he said next was unexpected, though it made sense, I had just never considered it before.
"I spent my entire life working. I didn't take vacations, travel, or do anything else to really enjoy my life. Work was not only my vocation, but, my avocation", he said with profound thought and sincerity. "Now, I have more money than I can ever spend, a beautiful girlfriend, and health issues that will kill me sooner than later", he went on.
"My biggest regret is that most of my memories are about work, very little travel, no adventure, some good dinners, funerals, and the loss of loved ones", he confessed.
His confession, if that's what it was, hit me like a slap in the face. Not because it was surprising, but because there were a lot of things I wanted to do, and hadn't. I kept putting them off until tomorrow, and too frequently tomorrow never comes.
What he said next changed my life.
"Can I give you some advice", he asked? "I don't want to intrude where I'm not wanted."
"Please", I replied.
"Do everything you want while you can. If a whim strikes you, do it. As you get older your abilities, along with opportunities, will diminish. Time goes by so very fast", he said.
He continued on, "Your good memories will provide you with comfort always, and the regrets for the things never tried, and your wishes that go unfulfilled will burden you after the opportunities have passed, not before. You most likely will not think about them until it is too late. Regrets are sad, good memories are soothing, and happy, especially during times of great sorrow. Both last a lifetime."
"At some time memories are all we have left. Of course we all have regrets, but my hope for you is that your good memories far outweigh any regrets you may have in the future. Our thoughts and memories may be the only thing we take with us into the next life. I don't know", he finished.
What he said really made sense. I had wanted to do a number of things, but keep putting them off.
We talked for a few more minutes, I thanked him for the dinner the night before. He told me it was his pleasure, then he excused himself, and walked out the door. I still do not know his motivation for picking me, and giving me the advice he did.
My stay lasted six days during this trip. When I went to check out, the desk clerk told me it was taken care of.
I stayed in the hotel several times a year over the next few years, but never saw him again. I think of him often, and I am now retired. By the time I reached 50 years old I finished my "Bucket List". I did everything I could think of including privet pilot, skydiving, scuba diving, and so very much more, and spent a lot of my retirement funds to do what I wanted..
I am now retired and have a few regrets, but nothing compared to the wonderful memories I have of the adventures I participated in, people I have shared experiences with, and things I have seen. I, just like the gentlemen, have small health issues that get worse every year. I could not, in whatever time I have left, do what I did decades ago. I am truly thankful for his advice.
